dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
