We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize