no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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