I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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