I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
