i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
