Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Randomize
