i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
