I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
