I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
