I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
