did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
