youre lurking in front of me
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
