so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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