I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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