Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I seem to have left my pride at pride
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
