He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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