I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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