dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
