okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
