I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
