dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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