no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
