I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
