i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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