This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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