why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
This is the high leading the old right now
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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