If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
