3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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