I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
