I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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