So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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