We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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