similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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