At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize