I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
