id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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