we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
