Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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