she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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