At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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