Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
