I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
