How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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