things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Randomize
