Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
