haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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