your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
