ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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