Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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