Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
