Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
