I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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