I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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