let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
