I hate all girls vehemently.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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