I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
