Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
