I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
